hurt.

i have once been stab deep inside when i found the truth..
is healing as days goes by...
but today..i been hurt once more on the same wound...
a wound that i hav cover till the extend nobody could see it....
but u stab right thru it again..

u r trying to give me hope that the wound will disappear..
but i'm positively sure it will not...
it will stay there forever!
in fact...it may be worst in the future...

i'm trying not to think about it..
please dont remind me about my wound...
please...

something that i've been waiting for...

the day has arrive...

i finally heard the approval words from you..

i've been waiting for it for 30months..

i hope u really mean what u hav said..

i really hope that u will wish me happiness..

i hope what u have said is from the bottom of your heart...

greed..

when u dont hav something, u'll ask for it..
when u hav it, u feel like losing it...

life is so ridiculous..
will the end of the world comes?

i feel that our world need a change...
I need a change...
I need to experience lost...
I never experience much lost in my life..
I need to feel how is it feel like to lost something...

it will be painful...but I wanna know how well can i handle it...
I wanna know...

something new...

what's new?
1st time resigning from a job.
1st time typing resignation letter.

good or bad?
good and bad...
good is that i no longer need to face 2 faced people.
bad is that not sure if i could find students.

wish me all the best..
hopefully this year end will bring me some luck in getting new students..

*finger crossed*

urgency...

looking at those pics by friends gave me those urge to do it...
but i must always remind myself...you cant rush this kind of thing...

but those feel are getting stronger day by day...
is that really wat i wan?

hmm....

confused...

21.8.2011

2 years and 2 months..

time passes...

ups and downs we go...

we r still staying strong...

teacher's dilemma..

teaching is really a very difficult task..

no improvement...blame the teacher
cant play...blame the teacher
no good result...blame the teacher

n when it comes to fees..
cant pay...teacher bares the consequences..

actually the coming case i'm goin to mention is more about fees...
this parent never complaint anything about my teaching..
she seem very nice if u talk to her n so...

but when it come to fees...gosh...
never get it easily..
i dont blame those who cant pay on time because of financial problem..
indeed i experience that before that i taught 2 of her daughter n she dint pay me for 2 months and she say she hav some financial problem..

well..at 1st i feel uneasy but trusted her anyhow..so in the end she did pay me the 2 months fee when she managed to.

as for what happen today..
she live in a SEMI-D...she hav an estima, jazz, myvi and 1 more 4 wheel drive...also..she carries a LV bag..
well till here...i guess u all should know what is her background...

so..the scenario is...i was teaching her daughter at her house...
after i finished...i asked for 2 month fees as she havent been paying after weeks n weeks of classes..
she WENT upstairs n came down with an answer "SHE IS NOT IN"
if u have common sense then u will able to sense that if her mom is not in why would she go upstairs after i ask her to do so..

n the best part is... while i am teaching her daughter...i heard her yelling at his son "BOY COME N SLEEP WITH MOMMY"

so am i imagining voice? or the fact is she is at home????
y she need to teach her daughter to tell lies?
cant she just say she dont hav enough cash at home that's y she cant pay today??

this is just so unbelievable...GRRRRRRRR

REDANG never disappoint me!

after 3 years.. Redang still look wonderful..
this time..with dear..everything is even better..
i do hav to admit...you r not as romantic as i thought of but i still loooovvveeee yoouuuuu...
we hav been thru ups and downs throughout these 2 years...i am sure our relationship will grow stronger in coming years...

so yea...this is our 2nd anniversary...

back to Redang...everything is fantastic especially Laguna Redang...
i will never stay in other resort anymore...
food is nice...service is good...room is not bad..and surrounding is fantastic!

unfortunately...other guest were not...especially those from china..
dint mean to be racist but they r very rude people..
but most importantly, they dont know how to follow instruction?

already brief on do's and dont's when snorkeling but yet they still do it!
the very thing i cant stand it is that they r spoiling our coral reefs!!!!!!!!!
i witness a very cruel incident where a group of china people dive down to the bed of the sea at marine park and pluck the corals...when they success to pluck it...the other parts of the coral were broken...which means it cant be save anymore..
how could they do such cruel thing?!!!
they r spoiling our country's treasure!!!!!
how would they feel if we do the same to their pandas?????
no brain people!!! can anything be done?
i dont wan the next round i go redang i dont get to c much corals..
because it is well shown that there r lesser corals compared to the previous time i was there..

hopefully some related society could do something about it..

:(

things not going well...
not able to help much..
what can i do...............
what can i do to make things better?
what is going to happen next?

help.

Redang!

Redang is in 2 weeks time!
i cant wait for this relaxing holiday...

waiting for my next trip..

Bali trip was over like 2 weeks ago...
i cant wait for my Redang trip to come..

so how was Bali...hmm...lets rate from every category..

place:
feels a bit scary...is too crowded with motobikes! not to mention most of the road around Kuta is very small n narrow..

Attractions:
not too bad...i like tanah lot personally...of course Uluwatu were not too bad...of not forgetting is the pagoda in the middle of the lake called ulundanu temple..others..were just ok...

Food:
like i always say...all u have there is spicy, fried and rice! almost every meal they will hav rice!

people:
hmm..depends where...but what i feel is most ppl there r quite rude..not as nice ppl as those in thailand..

anyhow...this was the 1st time i celebrate my birthday in other country...n really...is the most memorable one..

so...yea...that's bali...

will i go back? hmm...not really...at least not in 10-20 years time...

n i seriously cant wait for my Redang trip!! i miss REDANG sooooooooooo much...
n this time...i finally got to stay in Laguna!!!!! AH!!!!
pool view some more!! sadly...all seaview room already sold out... :(
anyhow...cant wait cant wait...

funnily...i never had a place so far that i would really love to go back...
Redang is the only so far..hopefully it will not dissappoint me..

June please come soon!!!

ps: n i really pray for Japan...hopefully they will recover soon and dont wish that radioactive will reach here...

great day!

i would say...today is a
GREAT DAY!

Happy Birthday again dear...

i think i did not plan a day as good as what u hav planned on my birthday but like u said
"what we eat is not important as long as u r with me"

so touched... : D

Our resolution..

Was on the way home..
We came across to discuss about our future..
It is a fruitful discussion..
Thru this session.. We hav more clear idea on what we want in our life..
N I hope it will happen..

This cny is not as pleasant as how I wish it to be.. But since we gone thru it.. I feel that our relationship grew stronger than before..

Hopefully it will stay strong..cause I really think it is worth living with you for the rest of myself..I dare not say that I will definitely be with u forever but if I will I am sure I will be a great one..

Today.. I was searching for this lyric..

林俊杰JJ Lin Jun Jie- Ji De 记得 pinyin lyrics
谁还记得　是谁先说　
shei hai ji de shi shei xian shuo 
永远的爱我
yong yuan de ai wo 
以前的一句话　
yi qian de yi ju hua 
是我们以后的伤口
shi wo men yi hou de shang kou 
过了太久　没人记得　
guo le tai jiu mei ren ji de 
当初那些温柔
dang chu na xie wen rou 
我和你手牵手　
wo he ni shou qian shou 
说要一起　走到最后
shuo yao yi qi zou dao zui hou 

我们都忘了　
wo men dou wang le 
这条路走了多久
zhe tiao lu zou le duo jiu 
心中是清楚的　
xin zhong shi qing chu de 
有一天　有一天都会停的
you yi tian you yi tian du hui ting de 
让时间说真话　
rang shi jian shuo zhen hua 
虽然我也害怕
sui ran wo ye hai pa 
在天黑了以后　
zai tian hei le yi hou 
我们都不知道会不会有以后
wo men dou bu zhi dao hui bu hui you yi hou 

谁还记得　是谁先说　
shei hai ji de shi shei xian shuo 
永远的爱我
yong yuan de ai wo 
以前的一句话　
yi qian de yi ju hua 
是我们以后的伤口
shi wo men yi hou de shang kou 
过了太久　没人记得　
guo le tai jiu mei ren ji de 
当初那些温柔
dang chu na xie wen rou 
我和你手牵手　
wo he ni shou qian shou 
说要一起　走到最后
shuo yao yi qi zou dao zui hou 

我们都累了　
wo men dou lei le 
却没办法往回走
que mei ban fa wang hui zou 
两颗心都迷惑　怎么说　
liang ke xin dou mi huo zen me shuo 
怎么说都没有救
zen me shuo dou mei you jiu 
亲爱的为什么　
qin ai de wei shen me 
也许你也不懂
ye xu ni ye bu dong 
两个相爱的人　
liang ge xiang ai de ren 
等著对方先说想分开的理由
deng zhe dui fang xian shuo xiang fen kai de li you 

谁还记得　
shei hai ji de 
爱情开始变化的时候
ai qing kai shi bian hua de shi hou 
我和你的眼中　
wo he ni de yan zhong 
看见了不同的天空
kan jian le bu tong de tian kong 
走得太远　
zou de tai yuan 
终于走到分岔路的路口
zhong yu zou dao fen cha lu de lu kou 
是不是你和我
shi bu shi ni he wo 
要有两个　相反的梦
yao you liang ge xiang fan de meng 

谁还记得　是谁先说　
shei hai ji de shi shei xian shuo 
永远的爱我
yong yuan de ai wo 
以前的一句话　
yi qian de yi ju hua 
是我们以后的伤口
shi wo men yi hou de shang kou 
过了太久　没人记得　
guo le tai jiu mei ren ji de 
当初那些温柔
dang chu na xie wen rou 
我和你手牵手　
wo he ni shou qian shou 
说要一起　走到最后
shuo yao yi qi zou dao zui hou 
我和你手牵手　
wo he ni shou qian shou 
说要一起　走到最后
shuo yao yi qi zou dao zui hou

Then I realize out relationship reach till this point.. Fortunately.. It grew stronger instead of falling apart.. N I really glad that it does.. Again <3 you dear..

New year?

Ever heard of the 1st day of new year everything u say, eat and do is important so that the whole new year will be the same?

I guess my this whole year wouldn't be as great as I think.. I do hope it will not be as true as what those old ppl say..

But somehow even new year I am not happy.. Now same goes to Chinese new year.. I really feel like shouting out loud the F word..

totally forgot!

n i get to playing with my new toy during this trip... wheeeeee....

happy chinese new year!!!

when one gets older...the chinese new year feel gone lesser n lesser n lesser..
oh well...anyhow...today the cny feel had finally arrive
looking at my mom preparing for tomorrow reunion lunch held in my house (again..aih)
and putting up deco...setting up altar by putting fruits...flowers n etc.
it shows that it is finally here!

bought a nike shoe today!!! wheeee....
n before this i got some new polo-T, t-shirts, levis jeans and some dresses...
happie...

this year round...me goin to experience new cny feel as i am goin back to dear's hometown..
hopefully it is a great trip
also also...on 3rd day on cny...we r heading up to penang!!!!
FOOD HEAVEN
cant wait....it has been so so so long since i been to penang!!!!

cant wait cant wait!!! :D

gosh..

Gosh...whats wrong with everyone?
another engaged?

is it timed? or ppl r getting married early these days?
or is it like dear say...around this age u will get more n more these kind of news?

hmmm...

i dont like the sound of it...
it prove that i am getting OLD!
which at the thought of it, i am goin to get old in around a month's time...

n i dont like it! hmmmp >.<

thanks for the memories..

came across with this title on thestar.com.my at viewed the most box..
so i thought...hmm...cecilia ahern's book?
click...

Thanks for the memories

MY nephew Bryan Chiel Yee Hao (pic) read the following letter on his flight to New York last August. It was written by his mother, Amy Fun, my sister.


My dear Bryan,

What better gift to give you than a heartfelt letter spun from the inner recesses of my heart? On top of that, this note is written with great sentiment as I’m using the Sheaffer your dad bought for me more than 20 years ago.

And I’m writing to my son who will be leaving the nest a day from now to a faraway land. I shall be careful not to let any teardrop smudge any of these pages, which are written in ink. That’s what style’s all about, yeah?

Thank you ... for the cheer you bring with your presence
Thank you for always holding my hand when we walk and talk
Thank you for the random disagreements concerning our personal viewpoints and the better understanding that arises out of these
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for walking this Kuan Yin Path alongside me in your own quiet way
Thank you for showing me your strength in the silence that you hold in pursuing your dreams
Thank you for the belief in yourself when all else fails within.
Thank you for introducing me to Youtube to revisit songs from days of yore
Thank you for appreciating the many things beyond your age
Thank you for your helping hand in our household chores
Thank you for taking pride in making the altar bright
Thank you, above all, for your myriad unassuming ways.
Thank you for choosing to be my son in this lifetime
Thank you for bonding so well with your Pa the way you do
Thank you for respecting and loving the elderly
Thank you for sharing with me your first love and first heartbreak, too.
“Thank you” seems too simple a word to use for you, Bryan
Thank you for your fine examples in living life
Thank you for having an observant eye
Thank you for wanting to repay society someday
Thank you for acknowledging Divine Grace in a sincere way.
Son, simply, thank you for your existence.



Bryan passed away in a road accident on Sept 28, 2010, in Plattsburg, United States. His 20 years as an amazing human being touched the hearts of those who knew him. – Aunt Jene

touching..is great to hav this wonderful relationship bewteen mother n son..
really..is not easy...being understanding...

sad to hear that this wonderful mother lose his son.. i am sure her son is in heaven now..

ps..i love you

how many times had i watched this movie?
i've lost count...

but when i am watching it...it will never be when i am in good mood..

we learn a lot of thing from this movie..
a lot about love..
i can tell i am sort of like holly once in awhile..

cranky..unreasonable..
i always question myself..y am i like that?
y?

till today...i still dont find answer to that question..
n with those attitude...it kinda...

kinda...

aih....